First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
