He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
