I hate your face
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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