Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Small penises have feelings too.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
