Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
