): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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