I wish my penis had an off switch
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
