please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
