I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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