I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
