apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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