He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
