so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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