a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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