Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize