everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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