Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
