DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sext me about skeletons
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
