just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
