did you get engaged???
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
