I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
