Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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