She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
