I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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