I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
