Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
