we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
