he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
