you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
