Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
