And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She needs sedatives and a leash
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
