i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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