We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
