i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
