Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
