high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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