So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
