my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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