Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
