i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
