ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
