I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
