Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize