How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
