My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize