That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
