So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
