just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
