so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
