Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
