Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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