OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize