Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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