She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
