Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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