Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
